First Trimeter: Anxiety and Progesterone Shots

Our first trimeter seem to have flown by. I guess with all of the tests and doctor’s appointments, we stayed pretty busy. Luckily, I had no morning sickness and little complications. For me, the worst part was the anxiety of whether my body would hold these precious gifts and the painful progesterone shots in my butt every night! The progesterone shots are used to support the pregnancy and the uterine lining, so I knew I needed and wanted to take them, right on schedule just as I did the other shots. However, these shots were torture for me! They hurt so badly. I think mainly because of the size of needle. Bakari gave me the shots on the nights that he was not traveling. Some nights when he was upset with me or just tired from his day, the shots hurt a little more. I am not quite sure if he used different technique on those nights or what, lol. When he was away, I had to quickly figure out how to contort my body to shoot myself in the butt with these huge needles. The medication made me get really puffy, almost to the point that I looked swollen. I was so relieved when my RE weaned me off the progesterone at ten and a half weeks. Unfortunately, the anxiety stuck around.  I am not so sure that it will ever go away until I deliver our twins.

We had ultrasound scans every other week with our RE.  With every scan, I just prayed to God that my babies would be ok. I was so thankful that Bakari was there to hold my hand each and every time. We were in this together, good or bad, and that just brought me so much comfort. We agreed to share our pregnancy news with a small circle of friends and family. It was comforting to me to talk through my fears and anxiety with friends and family. My parents and sisters waited on standby until I called after each doctor’s appointments. Most of the scans were in the morning. My mother could not get her day started until after I called. She would wait anxiously by the phone, and would thank God in relief after each positive report. I really don’t know if I could have gotten through the first trimeter without their support.

Near the end of the first trimester, our RE released us from care and we started seeing our OB/GYN who will deliver our babies. When you are of “Advanced Maternal Age”, as I am, you have a second specialist called a Perinatologist who specializes in high risk pregnancies. So you are under the care of two different doctors during your entire pregnancy. Some would hate this, because I am such a worry wod, I absolutely love the fact that I have two eyes on me and my babies. Our first major test with the Perinatologist was the Maternal21 ultrasound, genetic consultation, and blood work. The Maternal21 checks for chromosomal disorders by looking at the babies’ nuchal ligaments at the back of the neck, the brain, and the heart to determine if the babies are at risk of Down Syndrome and other chromosomal disorders. The night before the test of course I was a nervous wreck. And, of course my “Balancer in Chief”, Bakari put things in perspective for me. He just said to me, ” Ellen, I really don’t care what this test shows…these are our babies and we will love and take care of them however God intends on them to come.” I went into the test still anxious and nervous but he was right, God gave us these gifts and there are certain things that are out of our control, and this is one. The test came back with excellent results, the babies are healthy with no disorders and low risk of any chromosomal abnormalities. We celebrated this Big Victory and are looking forward to many more in the coming weeks! Second Trimester, here we come!